Self-love, but honestly — a poem

When I meditate
I call back the white,
Gold energetic light
I used to flow to you.

It was a present,
A willing offering.
Unwilling, too
At times, honestly.

Alone, I imagine
Streams of springwater
Washing clean,
Deep folds in my mind

You lived in each,
Once. Now it finds
A river of healing
White rapids, softening.

I stayed,
Because that gift
Was given wrongly
Too strongly.

I’d lost myself,
In the tissue paper box
I’d wrapped up,
Sent you, me in it

Because deep down,
I felt unworthy of you.
And thought all of me
Would keep you.

So, now it’s time to undo
And forgive that me,
That gave all of herself
To you, unwittingly.

I call back my light,
My energy, my fight.
I claim my body back
And turn from your lack.