Self betrayal – a poem
I watched it happen as if floating
Above and below
Away from it all,
Like the person who stayed
Was playing a part
While I sat, waiting
For the protagonist’s heart to shatter,
Greedily feasting on her anxiety
Drinking her tears
Alongside my wine.
Every movement she made
When, no matter what he did
She forgave
And forgave.
Even now, I’m still trying to decipher
What she was seeking
Which parts of him she felt able
To hold onto
As weeks stretched between meetings
Phones glowing like dying fireflies,
His half-hearted attempt at
Keeping connection alive.
The character I’m watching
Watches the mirror
Strains her eyes as she gazes out the window
As if he’d knock
As if he’d enter.